Sirius Black:The God Of Love
by littlepixiebookreader
Summary: Sirius Black has a plan, and with his trusted side-kick, he will finally get Lily and James to kiss...date...maybe Marry...and have a kid, but for now he has to figure out how to get them in the same room without Hexing each other. One-Shots!
1. The Plan

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

Sirius Black knew Lily Evans and James Potter were ment for each other the minute their eyes met.

Okay so their eyes weren't all Lovey-Dovey...

And they weren't even staring at each other nicely...

It was more like glaring that made everyone else take a step back.

I mean there was electricity around them...

Heat...

Passion...

Okay, so they were eleven when they met, but there not that age anymore...

There sixteen...

And Sirius Black knows it's time for them to shut-up and kiss already.

Now he just has to find a way to get them to kiss.

It will take more than just shoving them in a closet.

He has to out-smart the smartest of their year.

He needs a cunning, brainy, side-kick...

That's why he dragged Remus Lupin into this mess.

And this mess is about to get even messier, because when Sirius Black and Remus Lupin join forces...welll, you know...

Trouble will follow as well.

Trouble, that Sirius Black is willing to risk, to get his best-friend and the girl his best-friend has been lusting after for six-years...together.

"It's May 3rd."

"Time: 2:02 .A.M."

"And the plan is now in action."

"Over- and-out."

"Sirius, you really need to quit reading Lily's muggle-thriller-books."

"Shut-up, Remus and go sneek back to the dorms."

"Fine."

"And for now-on, I'll be addressed as Captain Eagle, and you'll be Wolfy!"

"How oridinal, and no I'm not addressing you as Captain!"

"Fine."

"Fine, Captain drool."

"Shut-up, fuzzball!"

"Sssh!, I think someone is coming..."

"Time to disperse!"

"Over-and-out!"

Remus sighed.

"this is sooo going to be a looong month..."


	2. Plan A

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

Plan A: The plan that Sirius was so sure would work was simple.

Push Lily Evans off the highest tower during quiditch lessons so that James will save her.

Right...Simple.

Remus was still trying to convince him to start off smaller.

Sirius, disagreed, the bigger the plan, the more possibility that it will succeed.

And that's why Remus found himself asking Lily to practice spell work with him on one of the towers.

Sirius was down at the quiditch pitch practicing and waiting for James to start the practice.

Remus, sighing, wondered how he got stuck with this part of the plan.

Sirius, told him it was simple.

Just push Lily off the tower.

Then he perceeded to push Remus towards Lily and even somehow convinced Lily to keep him company.

Remus really wondered how Lily dared to agree to something that Sirius suggessted.

She must be having a really off day.

And that's how Remus found himself chatting with Lily as he led her up the steps of a tower closest to the quiditch pitch.

He really wondered why he was even going along with this plan.

He must be going insane, he thought.

_What if she fell?_

_What if she broke something?_

_What if she died?_

_What if she found out it was him that pushed her?_

Remus Lupin's heart beat faster as he reached the top of the tower and pushed the door open, holding it open for Lily who skipped through it and into the fresh May air, outside.

Smiling, she hummed, as she set up books about spells they were going to practice.

Or so she thought they were going to practice.

Saying a quick pray, Remus smiled and began the spell practice, aiming each spell so that she would have to defend but also take a small step back.

He had them circle each other untill her foot hit the edge.

And she lost her balance and shouting and running as if to help her out, he watched as she fell back, her eyes wide.

And all Remus could think of was what the hell was he thinking?

He watched as from far away, Sirius' shouted to James, who took off like a rocket towards Lily.

And caught her just as she was about to hit the ground.

Landing, James cradled Lily in his arms as he gently shook her.

Shook her?

Sirius' face was a mask of dissappointment as he realized that the kiss was not going to happen now.

Because Lily had blacked out...fainted...went to LaLaLaLa Land...

And now quiditch practice wa cut short.

Sirius was in a bad mood.

James was carrying Lily to the Madam Poppy's offices...

And Remus...

Remus Lupin was left outside, only to be dragged inside by Sirius, watching as his face lit up like it was Christmas again, and all Remus wondered...was...

_What the hell could Plan B be?_


	3. Plan B

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

Sirius was annoyed, that much Remus knew as he watched his friend pace back and forth outside Madam Poppy's offices.

"Fainted-Really who does that?- Idiot should have caught her sooner..." were the occasional words that Remus caught as Sirius paced past where he sat.

He had sat doing his Charms homework for awhile but had eventually given-up when Sirius' pacing grew distracting. He was like some dog waiting to be let outside by his master.

Finally, Remus reached out and grabbed ahold of one of his best mates and pulled him to the seat next to his, sighing as the sound of feet stomping over floors disappeared.

Stretching in his seat and enjoying the quiet, Remus was now able to hear the lull of voices inside the Hospital-wing. He was unable to hear any of the words said, even with his wolf-hearing, but he could make out the sounds of James' , Madam Poppy's and Lily's voices, and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized she was okay.

"Push her off the tower, What the hell was he thinking?" Remus thought to himself as he heard scribbling next to him. Sneeking a peek side-ways, he saw Sirius writing on a piece of paper and just for a moment...really only a moment...Remus thought he was doing homework. Maybe he forgot about his next Plan...Plan B.

But it was only wishful thinking.

Because, really?

Sirius doing homework...not in this lifetime...

If Sirius every did homework...well, it would be the day Remus didn't do his homework...which would be never...

Really, his best mate was hopeless...

Looking down at the piece of paper, he watched as word-by-word, the next Plan was revealed to him...

It seemed that puching someone off a tower was not the worst Sirius could come up with...

Really, if only he put this much effort into his homework...

Cranning his head to try and read more of the paper, Remus tried to continue his reading but that grew fruitless...as...

A.- Sirius' handwriting became even worse the longer he wrote...and...

B.- Sirius saw him reading and perceeded to snatch the paper out of Remus's view...

Half of Remus's brain wanted to snatch the paper back...

The more commone side and the other half of his brain wanted to walk away, and never look back...

But he stayed put and waited for his mate to finish his writing, all the while watching as his facial expressions changed...

It went from...Frowning...to Smiling...to grinning...to laughing out-right...and then stopping, and then finally silently laughing in a creepy way and sifting his eyes back and forth...

The creepy laugh was enough for Remus to shift to the edge of his seat away from this crazy Sirius, as if it was a disease he could catch...

"He-He-He-He..." is all he heard for five-minutes...until for some reason Sirius stopped laughing...Looking at him again, Remus watched him repeat his wierd facial expressions as he re-read what he wrote, and then again the laugh came...

"He-He-He-He..."

Really, It would be something that Remus thought would appear in his nightmares...

It wasn't until five-minutes later, when Sirius shot-up in a blur of motion and ran down the hall...

Remus watched his go and then started on his Charms homework again.

Twenty minutes went by before Sirius appeared again, with what looked to Remus like...

Mistletoe.

How he even found it months after December, Remus was not going to ask, well okay he was...because Remus was alway curiose...

"Where'd you find that?"

He waited for an answer, all the while remember the expression..._"Curiosity killed the Cat..."_

"I have a guy," Sirius said easily.

"You-You have a guy for mistletoe?" Remus asked warily... "Who?"

"He's to remain unknown, now sshhh! And beside he doesn't just get me mistletoe, what kind of go-to-guy would he be then?" Sirius asked, with an Are-You-Stupid-tone.

_"And Satisfaction brought it back..." _Remus thought as he shook his head and closed his Charms book, putting it neatly on top of his chair as he got up and followed after Sirius, who had set off towards the inside of the Hospital-Wing at a brisk pace.

Following and entering inside, Remus saw an odd sight...

James sitting beside Lily's bed, where she was currently laying down, awake, ice-pack on her forehead.

Sirius was crawling to the other side of Lily's bed and from what Remus could tell, neither had seen him or Sirius...Yet...

_"Behold my crazy Mates..." _Remus thought, as Sirius beckoned him to crawl over to where he was.

Crawling to Sirius, Remus watched as he threw the mistletoe into the air and watched as the mistle toe landed above Lily and James, keeping them in that area, because after-all this was magical Mistletoe and magical mistletoe would not let you leave the area until you kiss whomever is undernieth there with you...

Remus saw the exact moment when Lily and James noticed it, five-minutes later...

James looked at it questionly...

Sirius grinned...

Lily blushed, bright red...

And Remus shook his head...

Looking embarressed, Lily leaned over and kissed James on the cheek...

Bam!

The sound of Sirius hitting one of the bed-posts, of Lily's bed rang throughout the room as everyone seemed to jump in shock...

"Your supposed to kiss him!" He screeched at Lily.

And Lily, now slightly laughing, though still bright-red, said, "I did kiss him!"

"No you didn't!" Sirius immediatly responded, pointing an accusing finger at the couple.

"Yes, I did!"

"No, You didn't!"

"Yes...The rules are you have to kiss the person, to get away from the area, the mistletoe is in..."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Lily cut across him...

"But- The rules don't say where I have to kiss him." Lily said cheekily as she stuck out her tongue at Sirius.

Sirius gaped...

James grinned...

Lily smiled...

And Remus, And Remus sat on the floor...laughing...


	4. Plan C

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

Remus knew Sirius was getting desperate when he said the word studying.

Well actually Remus had to ask him to repeat what he said about eight-times before he realized The Sirius Black had said the word studying...

And had used that word in the sentence that didn't include words like idiotic, I don't want to, for loosers, or I'd rather die.

So that's how Remus found himself involved in Plan C.

Which, Sirius said, would be simple...yeah...sure...

The plan took place about four-days after the failure of Plan B.

Sirius said he waited so long to make sure Lily was okay from her fall, and Plan A...

Which seemed rather nice of him...

On the day Plan C, took effect...Remus was dragged out of bed early on a Saturday and taken into the library...

The fact that The Sirius Black was dragging him into a library...on a Saturday...in the early morning hours...made Remus think he was dreaming some strange dream.

They ended up behind the shelf that held the Charms textbooks and where a small table, big enough for two, fit snuggly in the corner...

Where Remus and Sirius were, gave them a full view of said table.

And reallly when Sirius told Remus the plan he thought he actually was quite simple and when he told Sirius this, Sirius just grinned and said Plan C. was before the crazier plans showed up...

Remus hoped to God they wouldn't have to go pass Plan C.

Around noon, and after hours of Remus readin a Charms textbook and Sirius snoring away and getting dirty looks from the Librarian, Lily came into the library.

Nudging Sirius awake, who did not wake-up gracefully [it included snorting, muttering and cursing/drooling], the duo watched the red-head skipped dpast them, not seeing them in their hiding place...

That's when Sirius kicked Remus in the leg...Hard...

Howling and cursing, Remus grabbed his leg, glaring at Sirius who just grinned at him and got off the floor...

"Now, you keep Lily here, while I go get James!" He said, grinning down at Remus who was still muttering Plans to kill him.

"And how am I supposed to keep Lily here, you arse," Remus managed to get out through gritted teeth, wondering if Sirius was wearing metal shoes.

Sighing, Sirius shook his head and then launched his foot at Remus's leg once-again.

Then left his friends howling in pain, while Lily hearing the noise, tried to help him, her face holding worry as she looked at, what Remus was sure, his broken leg...

Dodging pass students in the corridors, Sirius ran back to his drom to get James.

Finding James, he rushed him out of the dorm and dragged him down the corridors, with James yelling at him to tell him where they were going...

Passing a group of first year-boys, Sirius bellowed at them and knocked through them like they were bowling -pins...

"Move you tiny-midgets!" He cackled at them as he lept over one boy tieing his shoe, still dragging a scared-looking James with him to the library.

Reaching the library, he barged in and slammed James into one-of-the-two-chairs at the small cozy-table, and then ran back to Remus.

Grabbing Lily, who was casting spells to heal Remus's leg, he picked her up and dropped her in the chair, right next to James.

Then, slamming a Charms textbook in front of them told them to study together...

Then, while Lily and James stared open-mouthed at him, Sirius cast a spell that would make them stay at that table until he removed the spelll...

Then, grinning at the duo, he saluted and left them there, promising to bring them food through-out the day...

Skipping back to Remus, Sirius grinned down at him and then pulling him up, dragged him out of the library, down the corridors, and through the first-years again, leaping and jumping, and even skipping along the way...

Until he finally reached the Hospital wing, and dragged poor Remus through the doors, dropped him on one of the beds and bellowed for Madam Poppy to fix him...

All the while Remus gritted his teeth and planned in his head forty-ways, he could kill Sirius Black...


	5. Plan D

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

"Your an Idiot," Remus said.

"You know thats the thirty-fifth time you said that to me in the last two-hours." Sirius shot back.

"Could you maybe shut-up, already," he continued.

"Your really an Idiot." Remus countered.

"Well at least you added something new to the sentence, this time. Would it kill you to come up with better insults at least?" Sirius asked, propping his feet up on the desk he sat near.

"Okay." Remus said and as Sirius opened his mouth, continued with," Your a bastardly mutt, idiot with no common sense." "Better?" Remus asked innocently.

"Yes, and actually I do wish you'd refrain from calling me mutt," Sirius sniffed.

"You call me wolfy all the time." Remus pointed out.

"That's different." Sirius said.

"How is that different?" Remus asked, growing irratated.

"It just is," Sirius pouted and stuck out his tongue.

"Same," Remus said.

"Different."

"Same."

"Different."

"Same!"

"Different!" Remus pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, sighing as he said in a frustrated tone, "I'll show you what different is, Sirius!"

"I'll throw you into the lake for the Octopus to get you and walk away indifferently," Remus said calmly.

"That will be different!" He shrieked.

"No it won't..." Sirius said, not realizing it was almost the full moon, and his friend's patience was thinning the longer they conversed.

"What do you mean...That's not different?" Remus asked.

"Well-There's an "in" at the beginning of the word...get it "in"- different...different," Sirius trailed off at the look on Remus's face.

"Idiot!" He shrieked and banged his head against the desk he was sitting closest to.

"Ssshhhh!" Lily hissed, from across the room, where she was currently sitting and avoiding James's stares, from where he sat one desk away from her.

"You Ssshhhh!" Sirius said.

"Ssshhhh!" Lily hissed.

"You Ssshhhh!" Lily hissed.

"You Ssshhhh!" Sirius countered.

"No, You Ssshhhh!" Lily said.

"No, You Ssshhh!" Sirius argued back.

"Would you both Shut-Up!" Remus snapped and went back to muttering to himself.

Sirius, quietly glaring at Lily, only caught a few of the words Remus muttered and just shrugged, not understanding what Remus was trying to say, when he caught the words...

"No more children"..."Scissors"..."And Feed."

"This is all your fault, you know?" Sirius sighed as Remus's head snapped-up and he glared furiously at his friend.

"My fault?" He said, his voice so deathly calm that even Lily, from across the room, tensed and leaned away from Remus.

"How the Hell is this my fault?" He asked, his voice still deathly calm, but Lily and James knew he was angry because Remus rarely cursed.

Sirius, stupidly in James's opinion, shrugged his shoulders and said," Well if you hadn't tripped we would have made it further away!"

"I tripped because my leg still isn't completely healed from your Plan C.!" Remus gritted his teeth.

"My Plan?" Sirius questioned. "What happened to were in this together, Amigo?" Sirius pouted, punching Remus in the shoulder.

"That changed, "Amigo," when you broke my leg, without telling me that part of the plan..."Amigo!" " Remus shrieked.

"Would you have let me if you had known that was part of the plan?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Well, that's why I didn't tell you," Sirius pointed out as if that justified his actions.

"Besides...All I did today was get us all detention." Sirius said.

"All you did?" Remus seethed. "Let me remind you what you did..." Remus started.

"You started a food fight during Transfiguration class."

"Where a Potato hit Flitwick, who had only come into that room to borrow some ink."

"And which knocked him unconcious and made Professor MCgonagall give us detention." Remus finished.

"Hey! I was transfiguring that potato in class." Sirius tried to justify. "Yeah, which you used to knock a teacher out." Remus said drily.

"Well that will teach Flitwick to just magic the ink into his classroom next time!" Sirius pouted. "Yeah, because that wouldn't be rude." Remus countered.

"Besides it's just one detention!" Sirius tried one more time to justify everything. "Yeah, "One" Detention that Mcgonagall said wouldn't end until Flitwick wakes-up." Remus said, glaring at his Potato-Throwing-Friend.

"Oh, and it's now been...exaaaactly...two-hours...and he's still dead-to-the-World in the Hospital Wing." Remus stated.

"And we only got detention because you blamed the whole thing on Lily and James hoping to leave them alone in detention together...But the Mcgonagall saw you throw your Potato...and so in the end you got in trouble and tried to runaway, but they dragged you here." Remus stated, yawning.

Sirius pouted at Remus's explaination. "Did I leave anything out?" Remus said sarcastically. And then answering himself...

"Along the way, you dragged me here and blamed it on me, too, and Mcgongall banned Potato's from her lesson plan's for now on." Remus said.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Sirius trailed off and Remus sighed.

"Your Plan D. did not work." He stated, only to be surprised when Sirius grinned at him.

"I think it did." Sirius said, his smile getting wider.

"How did it work?" Remus asked, almost too afraid to ask, fearing how Sirius would answer the question. "They aren't alone...They have to deal and listen to us bickering like an old married couple...and me realizing that we bicker like an old married couple...Is like Ice Cream on the Crazy Cake that tonight was." Remus stated, slowly inching away from the Creepy-Smiling-Sirius.

"It did work." Sirius sing-songed.

"Did not."

"Did tooooooo!" Sirius sang.

"Did not!"

"Did toooo!" Sirius sang, hitting a high-note that had Remus clutching his wolf-sensitive ears and grimacing.

"Did...We are not continuing this!" Remus snapped, un-clutching his ears.

"Fine...Look..." Sirius said, pointing across the room to where Lily and James sat, talking and laughing, their chairs pulled closer together then before.

"Plan D. was a success, Wolfy!" Sirius chirpped, happily, and Remus half-expected him to stand on the desk and perform his "Happy-Dance."

"Stop calling me that," Remus said.

"No!" Came Sirius's stubborn reply, as he placed his feet once more on the desk nearest to him.

"Fine!" Remus snapped, sighing as he turned away from Sirius.

"Captain Idiot." He muttered and looked back towards Sirius and pushed his feet off the desk and to the floor, making Sirius loose his balance and fall to the floor.

"Ha-Ha-Remus, but your insults still suck," Sirius's, slightly muffled, voice said from the floor.

"You can tell that to The Giant Octopus, when I throw you in the Lake," Remus said, chuckling down at his friend on the floor.


	6. Plan E

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. Thank You and Please Review!**

"Your definitely an idiot. That can be the only reason why you would be doing this." Remis exclaimed as he shivered.

"Oh yeah...Well then why are you doing this, huh, Mr. SmartyPants?" Sirius countered, pulling his coat tighter around himself.

"Because someone has to tell the others of your stupidity!" Remus said angerly as his teeth clattered together once more.

"You know thats just hurtful, Fuzzball." Sirius said pouting.

"Oh, and calling me fuzzball is nice?" Remus retorted.

"Yes!" Sirius said as if Remus were an idiot.

Remus sighed and swiped at his hair that had fallen onto his face and obscruting his view...

Of Lily and James iceskating...

On the Hogwart's Lake...

That really isn't supposed to be frozen...in the middle of May.

"You know I think I saw something moving just now down there," Sirius said, peering down at the frozen lake from where he sat behind a tree with Remus.

"It's probably just the octopus that wants to eat you for freezing it in the middle of May!" Remus said drily, which evidently Sirius did not catch, for the next thing Remus only saw, was Sirius slamming into him as he jumped away from the ice with a yelp...thus making both Lily and James look towards them.

"Get off me!" Remus swore, as Sirius struggled off his lap and back onto the ground, making a shushing motion at him.

"Sssshhhh!" Sirius said as Remus rolled his eyes.

"Why?" Remus taunted.

"They'll know were here if you talk too loud!" Sirius said.

"Oh, yeah then they'll know were spying on them, because you want them to get together...Oh, yeah I'll love to hear you explain this all to Lily...especially on your whole plan to push her off that tower!" Remus snapped.

"Your the one who pushed her!" Sirius whined.

"Yeah and you'll be the next one sailing off that tower if Minnie catches us out here!" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius pouted, "She won't find out...It's the middle of the night...She's probably asleep." Sirius said waving it off.

"You do realize her window has a direct view of the lake, oh and Dumbledore's window does, too!" Remus said.

"How do you know this?" Sirius asked.

"Someone has to know what areas to avoid, when sneaking around." Remus said, shrugging, as Sirius grinned at him.

"And what areas are they, Mr Lupin?" A voice said from behind the two boys.

"Ummm, Eeerrr..." Remus trailed off as both he and Sirius stared into the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore.

"I told you not to make so much noise!" Sirius said.

Remus glared at him, as Dumbledore chuckled softly.

"And why are you two out here tonight...and might it have something to do with why the lake is frozen, perhaps?" Dumbledore mused.

"Well you see sir..." Remus said as he trailed off...

"Love." Sirius completed as he nodded his head and Remus looked at him like he had two heads.

"Love?" Dumbledore repeated and Remus looked towards him to find there Headmaster actually nodding his head.

"Go on." He encouraged Sirius.

"Well you see sir, there should be less hate and so we thought that Lily and James would be perfect for each other...and so Remus had this plan..." Sirius trailed off at Remus's glare.

"i mean I had this plan to have james teach Lily how to ice skate...and this can't wait till next year, because by then it could be too late, so I convinced Remus and a few other girls to help me freeze the lake...and then I talked to James who convinced Lily to come out and ice skate...and believe me that was the hardest part...I mean you wouldn't believe how many times Lily said no..." Sirius trailed off as Remus raised an eyebrow at him and coughed loudly.

"I see and so your out here also?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well someone has to make sure they fall in love!" Sirius said nodding his head and Remus did a double-take as he saw Dumbledore nodd as well.

"I do believe Mr Potter and Miss. Evans will be fine out here alone...As they seem to be keeping quiet...and you really do not want to wake anyone up...now do we?" Dumbledore asked and Remus could of sworn he saw his eye move towards Minnie's window.

"No sir!" Sirius said and saluted his Headmaster.

"Very well, lets pip-pip over to the kitchens for some much needed Hot coco...and maybe some of those nice Muggle Cookies as well..." Dumbledore trailed off and clapped his hands together.

"Sssshhhh!" Sirius said, and Remus coughed even louder again, not believing that Sirius was telling Dumbledore to be quiet.

Remus did a double-take as once again Dumbledore nodded his head, his blue eyes twinkling at his students.

"Ah, I do believe you are in need of that Hot coco, Mr Lupin, I dare say you have a cold coming on." Dumbledore mused as they headed back to the castle.

"Aren't we going to need to defreeze the lake?" Remus asked curiously as Dumbledore pointed this out about the castle, as they made there way to the inside.

"...And that Giant actually threw a rock...it was a pretty big rock..." Dumbledore trailed off on his story at his student's question.

"Ah, Yes I sha'll take care of that...We wouldn't want a professor to find that Lake frozen..." He trailed off and Remus could have sworn he looked uneasy at the thought of someone...probably Minnie...finding out about the Lake.

"Who would have thought Old Dumbles was afraid of his own ex-student?" Sirius whispered to Remus as they entered the kitchen behind Dumbledore who had already begun a conversation with an excited looked House Elf...More Like A Dozen very, very, very excited House Elfs...

Remus slapped Sirius on the back of the head as Dumbledore sat on a comfortable chair he made appear along with two other comfortable chairs and a nice table...Calling over to hsi students to come have a seat, which they did, and as the HeadMaster picked up his cup of Hot Coco he mused to his two students...

"Fear can be an interesting emotion...almost like Love," He mused as his blue eyes twinkled at the two students who hadn't thought he had heard Sirius's comment.

"Yeah, but I bet it's mostly fear that you feel about Minnie," Sirius mused as Remus slapped his hand to his forhead.

Dumbledore chuckled, his blue eyes twinkling as he gestured for his two students to drink their Hot Coco and have some cookies, and as he himself picked-up a cookie, asked...

"So this plan of yours...?" Dumbledore mused as Sirius grinned at him and Remus smiled.


	7. Plan F

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. It belongs to .J.K. Rowling. Thank You and Please Review!**

Remus didn't know whose idea it was first...

_Okay so maybe he knew..._

All he definitely knew was that some idiot decided to suggest it and Sirius being Sirius decided it was a wonderful idea that just had to be put into action.

Because really Sirius was beginning to see that it was going to be a long drawn out battle to get Lily and James together.

And Remus after knowing Sirius since first year knew what happened when Sirius got frustrated with something...

Well actually it was more like a long drawn out order of things that happened once Sirius got frustrated/annoyed/stubborn about something...

First- Came the hand running through his hair more than usual...until his hair could almost pass for a comfy bird's nest.

Second- The twitching came...when he just seemed to be unable to sit still...which really annoyed the teachers...especially if he started literally bouncing in his seat like he did in Minnie's class that one time.

Third- Came the scary darting eyes...It was like one moment he was bouncing in his seat and then that would stop and his eyes would take up the discarded rythem.

Fourth- Came the narrowed eyes...Like once his body and eyes stopped bouncing his eyes would uncouncisely narrow at his targets...usually making them feel very uncomfortable and not want to sit anywhere near him.

Fifth- Well came the maniac glance...and at times laugh as well...Eventually his targets would feel nice and safe because hey he wasn't staring at them like he was taking in every detail...trying to see all your weaknesses...but then the minute you let you guard down and stopped feeling those narrowed eyes on the back of your head...you instead start to feel like someone's stalking you...

And no it's not your imagination...It's actually Sirius...finally loosing it...and hey if you don't have the sensors to detect when a stalker is staring at you from behind the tapestry by your classroom door...Well Stalker Sirius comes with a maniac laugh...that he usually unleashes every couple of hours...

When you know it gets too quiet...usually when your alone...

So you know your not going crazy...it's just Sirius...Loosing the last of his sanity...As his Marauder pride is put to the test.

And it had seemed to Remus that Sirius had totally gone bonkers when the symptoms of his frustrations began to manifest.

At first Remus really didn't notice it wasn't till Minnie told Sirius to stop bouncing in his seat like a deranged lunatic, did Remus finally see that Sirius was already on Symptom Number Two...And by then it was a lost cause to try and stop Sirius from targeting Lily and James...

And of course since James was being targeted, Sirius was being even more of a deranged lunatic...well a sneaky deranged lunatic, but still he had lost it...And so by the time a week had past by, Sirius had moved on to Symptom Number Four-Narrowed Eyes and all that jazz.

And again since James knew what Sirius was like once he got frustrated with something...And since Sirius didn't want James to realize he was forming a plan and targeting him and Lily...well it became almost comically...

Still on The Fourth Symptom, Sirius became almost like a Muggle Ninja trying to hide in places james wouldn't find...and since James is a Marauder...well it was kind of hard to find places to hide from James...

And so Sirius began using Remus as practice...

And so Remus, slightly relieved, slightly scared by this, found his days to be quiet peaceful without Sirius there...except when he would find Sirius popping out of wierd places and giving him Heart Attacks...

A few days of popping out Sirius, like a freaking Muggle Jack-In-The-Box, and Remus and Remus's heart for that matter couldn't take it anymore...

Remus realized by now, that him the usually calm and in control...except once a month...Marauder...was becoming increasingly paranoid and in such went hunting for Sirius one day...

Twenty-Five-Hours-Later...A very annoyed Remus found the lunatic hanging...literally hanging outside their dorm window...and in such Remus realized two things very quickly...

One- Sirius was not allowed to read his Muggled comic books about Spiderman, or Batman, Superman, or any other dude ina leotard...All those books would be burned, in case Sirius got anymore ideas on trying to exscape The Laws Of Physics.

And Two- He would have to do something to distract Sirius before he Sirius decided to hang from one of the chandeliars in The Great Hall next...

And so Remus, stupidly, mentioned how Lily's Birthday was soon, and maybe..._Just Maybe..._Sirius could be quiet and peaceful for a few days...as say a Birthday Present for her...

Unfortunetly this seemed to make the Idiot more excited as he finally believed he found a way to put another part of his plan in motion...

And so Remus, with a headache and a need for a nap and maybe a hospital visit for his weak, scared-shitless-that-week, heart, became the idiot that suggested to the _Idiotic Maniac_ the idea of having a plan take place on poor, Lily's birthday...

And so Remus did Three things...

One- He hoped to god Lily never figured out he gave the idea, accidently, to Sirius...because really he had seen the red-haired-girl duel.

Two- He left Sirius hanging outside...and he may have locked the window...He really didn't know or care at the moment.

And Three- He plopped himself down on his bed and took a nap...Falling asleep surprisingly easy...even with Sirius cursing him from the other-side of the window.


End file.
